Born January 1966 - a proud Capricorn, Chinese Wood Snake and Manifesting Generator I've been navigating the beautiful mess of being human for over five decades...

 

Oldest child, and only girl of parents who separated when I was about 5, unusually, for those times, we lived most of the time with my father rather than my mother. Both parents subsequently went on to re marry and I then became the oldest girl in a family with a full biological brother, a new step mother, a step brother and eventually a half brother from my dad and step mother. It was a complicated upbringing that involved a 9 year estrangement from my biological mother from the age of 10. 

 

Without going into details I am acutely aware that a child’s view of what is going on is very different from the one of the wounded adults that play in that system. We only have our small person interpretation, and I doubt I will ever really know the truth of all the ins and outs of what really was behind the drama and estrangements and 'stories'. My mother died from cancer at only 54  so is no longer here to ask her side - luckily I had re acquainted myself with her at that point and was at her bedside as she passed - I feel blessed to have had that time with her.

 

My father is still alive at the time of writing at the grand old age of 92 - that relationship has it’s own complexity. What I do know for sure is those early days had a great impact on who I was becoming as an adult and whatever did, or did not go on it has all been a part of where I am today - it could not have been any different.

 

After general education I started training and working in the hotel and catering industry, leaving home at 18 to do so. I didn't stay long in that industry as, after a near nervous breakdown - a combination of my childhood demons catching up and being put in charge of a kitchen at too young an age - I burnt out pretty damn quick! A kind doctor decided not to put me on anti depressants and recommended that I do something completely different and that’s how I became an au pair in mid 1980’s America for over 4 years! 

 

It was a whole new world to me and it was while I was there that I became interested in complementary health and personal development - I was given the book by Wayne Dyer “Your Erroneous Zones” which fundamentally changed my life and perspective on what it is to be human.

 

Life was never the same from that point forwards. I became acutely aware of how patterns of behaviour developed in my early years as a way to feel safe - subsequently had become both my superpower and my kryptonite - at that point more kryptonite than superpower!

 

These unconscious patterns kept me in a loop of unhelpful cycles that were fundamentally transformed once I started using the tools and techniques that I was learning on this deep dive adventure into what it was to be ME. ​

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Today I find myself doing the kind of work that fills my heart with joy. In my spare time, I get to be out in the garden with my hands in the soil and in the kitchen being creative with food. These passions have deep roots - I grew up on a small holding where I was encouraged to grow things, including my own food. Though I learned in the sweat of a commercial kitchen that I never wanted to work in that environment, my biological mother loved to cook, and that love of cooking and the experience I got in the kitchen both found a place. I was able to alchemise the negative into a positive and live the life I live today, building ease and grace and flow.